A friend and fellow youth pastor ask me this question about a month ago and since then, I had 3 people ask me the same question:
Should Christians (teens, college-aged, adults) who are dating spend the night (sleepover) at each others house? And if so, what age or stage in the relationship should this happen?
Post your comments and responses….
Go —>
23 male / gf of 2 years, recently engaged:
Me and my new fiance was just thinking about this a couple of weeks ago. The only time we had spent the night with each other was when we took a group trip to Miami with some friends. Each person/couple decided it would be best if we all slept in the big living room, just so there would be any confusion.
We have setup boundaries about how we was going to deal with our relationship/love. Things such as french kissing (open-mouth kissing), spending the night at each others house or even spending several hours(3+) alone by ourselves. This has helped us out tremendously. I think this is apart of what Stacy was saying concerning protecting your purity.
God has set us apart to be holy and told us to abstain from lust – 1 Peter 2:11
– Good thought provoking question… keep them coming!!!
Girl perspective:
From my experience, it can definitely lead to something that can compromise our faith and purity. Even though nothing happen with me and my boyfriend, it still felt awkward.
My youth pastor always say that we must protect our purity no matter what. In the Songs of Solomon, just like David said earlier, we are to refrain from stirring up love/passion until it is time/right. (Songs of Solomon 2:7 / Song of Solomon 8:4) — this is mention twice within the same book, so we know it is important.
thanks for the girl perspective… Your youth pastor is very smart. This is something I have said before also.
I believe young people (especially teens) should submit the relationship to someone who is willing to protect their purity. Rather it be their youth pastor, their parents, or a old friend…
love the song of solomon
Nope, they shouldn’t date. Too much temptation!!!
Love what you are doing with the site, keep it up bro!
thanks, we will continue to keep it updated!! Blessings
Here is what I say when I’m asked this question:
Song of Solomon 2:7 talks about “not awakening love before it’s time. I simply think when you put yourself in those situations, you’re giving apart of your self or awakening love. I don’t believe this is only referring to the physical It’s not wise to drum up feelings that you’re not ready to live out.
Also reference the appearance of evil. One can make the argument that “nothing happened when I stayed the night”, but no one else knows that. All they see is you leave in the morning. Right or wrong, the thought is that something happened.
Don’t get caught up in semantics arguments. Ex. did they sleep in the same bed or not. It’s simply a path down the wrong direction.
I enjoy what I’ve seen of you blog so far dude.
love it… the appearance of evil is a real good one.
– love the song of Solomon verse…
thanks for the enjoyment of the blog, David!!! (i have enjoyed your blog also)
Thanks for checking it out man
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No… I think it leads to temptation and can open up alot of things. I believe they can visit with each other, but sleeping over is a no no. Live above reproach!!!
This was on of the boundaries me and my gf set when we started dating. Hope this helps!!!
I love this live “above reproach”…. its calling us as believers to live a life set apart for God purpose…. Leviticus 20:7-8
Glad to see you setting boundaries